For Womankind

Artemis

Back in 2019, For All Mankind episodes started to arrive from Apple TV. So far, 20 episodes have been produced and a third season is expected to arrive later this year. I recently suffered through the first season of Apple TV's Foundation, so I went into For All Mankind with low expectations, suspecting that I would see more painfully silly made-for TV "drama".

Gender Bender. It is an amusing alternate reality fantasy: what if the Soviet manned space program of the 1960s had won the race to land someone on the Moon? And more dramatically, what if the Soviets landed a woman on the Moon, "forcing" NASA to fly female astronauts in space during the early 1970s rather than waiting until the 1980s?

Ed's death march. Who dies today?

 Old pre-NASA science fiction stories often featured manned bases on the Moon (example: Vandals of the Void). To provide an excuse for a making a base on the Moon, For All Mankind pretends that there are accessible deposits of water ice on the Moon's surface that can be turned into rocket fuel. I'm dreading the idea of this show turning into a soap opera and taking 20 episodes to get people to Mars. Yawn.

When the science in this made-for-TV "science fiction" becomes as tenuous as a lunar water deposit, the obvious solution in Hollywood is to kill someone. Poor Patty. 🔥

Shane Baldwin death watch.

 For All Mankind starts to unravel in episode 3, which was directed by Allen Coulter and written by Nichole Beattie, and then almost stalls in mid-air in episode 4 under the pen of Naren Shankar. Yes, because exploring space is too boring for Hollywood, we have to suffer through watching the son of Ed Baldwin learning how to ride a bike. Such drama.😉

 You can lead me to Moon water, but you can't make me enjoy watching. After meandering through soapoperaland™ for far too long, episode 5 actually devoted a few minutes to depicting a spacecraft landing on the Moon. Sadly, this entire "NASA goes to Hollywood" mission to find water ice on the Moon in the early 1970s feels like fantasy, not science fiction, but what else can we really expect from Hollywood...

mission accomplished

 Into the Plot Abyss. I understand that the folks in TVland have a formula for creating "great TV" moments, but why does it have to involve unbelievable plots? In the middle of a mission, let's just change our plans and land on a crater rim where we don't have adequate images of the landing site... because... plot. And once we land, let's use up all of our time and oxygen before making a last second attempt to enter the crater where the water is. Then after explaining that 1) they can't even bend over in their spacesuits and 2) every last pound of equipment has to be accounted for, suddenly it is possible to quickly transform a rover into a winch so we can use this 300 meters of spare electrical cable to lower someone into the crater and find water ice... just before we run out of oxygen. All cheer loudly as we try to forget how silly the entire scenario is... it's great television. Right?

Von Braun

Let me go out on a limb and predict that after making episodes 3-5 be all about finding water on the Moon, the folks at Apple TV will never again bother viewers with discussion of why finding water there was so dang important. We have more important things to do such as helping little Aleida with her math homework and helping little Margo become a flight director (thanks Wernher).

Episode 6... on life-support... At the tinker-toy Moon mine we are now gathering "ore samples". Since this fantasy exploration of the Moon is so silly and boring, the show returns to Earth for a quick political sex scandal and FBI harassment of homosexuals.

Pull the Plug. Episode 8... zzz... Another episode written by Nichole Beattie and the soap opera is in full swing. Mercifully, the Shane my For All Mankind death watch comes to an end.

Jamestown

 Gordo Memorial Station. Poor Gordo can't take it any more. Me too. With nothing to do except watch episodes of a stupid TV show, he cracks.

Goodbye Bob. After suffering through all ten episodes of Apple TV's first season of Foundation, I imagined that I could get through the first ten hours of For All Mankind, but no. I have no investment in these unlikable characters and this imaginary space program. Over and out.

Related Reading: Polar Resources Ice Mining Experiment

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