"Consider me squeamish..."

source

The title of this blog post is a quote from the Jack Vance novel Star King. Much of the joy from reading Vance's Demon Princes tales (or his Alastor Cluster novels or the Cadwal Chronicles) arises from Vance's humor and his glorious vocabulary. With each page turn, you encounter another word such as "squeamish" lovingly deployed by Vance in a clever and amusing way.

SIHA and the X-Files
Allow me to use "squeamish" in another sentence. I'm squeamish about the horror elements in The X-Files.

Here in August, it is time to celebrate the science fiction of Jack Vance, but first... a brief digression into the X-Files.  Why? I'm constantly looking for interesting Hollywood aliens and much of my search involves looking back old science fiction films. For example, last year I traveled back to 2002 in order to see Solaris.

Artist's concept of Dasce
cover art by Edmund Emshwiller

Today, my destination in Time is 1998 where I explore a spooky connection between Jack Vance and The X-Files...

The Quote
Kirth Gersen has just traveled across vast interstellar distances, into the far Beyond, in an attempt to rescue poor innocent Pallis Atwrode from the evil clutches of "Beauty" Dasce, a man so hideously disfigured that he brags of being able to paralyze dogs with a single glance.

Gersen captures Dasce and hopes to learn from him the secret cover identity of Demon Prince Attel Malagate, one of the men who killed Gersen's parents.

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Not aware of Gersen's convoluted and decades-long quest aimed at taking revenge on Malagate and the other Demon Princes, another character in the story chides Gersen about his unusually gentle treatment of Dasce, "I'm surprised you haven't killed him."

Gersen hopes to conceal his plan for tricking Dasce into revealing Malagate's secret identity and says in reply, "Consider me squeamish, if you like."

While the X-Files bulge with a plethora of paranormal phenomena, there is just a subtle patina of the paranormal tinting the canvas of Vance's novels. Vance never states explicitly that Gersen has telepathic powers, but he does seem to often be in the right place at just the right time which allows Gersen to out-fox his evil foes.

                                                       Spooky Mulder

Mulder and Scully trying to be cute: door lock humor.
On the roof's the only place I know
where you just have to wish to make it so.
Up on the roof!

All of this is a rather long-winded lead-up to the point of this blog post: I recently re-watched the 1998 X-Files movie, Fight the Future. There would be no X-Files film, except for the odd fact that "spooky" Mulder inexplicably ends up in the right place at the right time.

Why I'm BLUE. Conspiracy 17 18
The plot of Fight the Future makes absolutely no sense: a hyper-secret global conspiracy has been on-going for half a century, concealing from the world an imminent alien invasion.

image source

The conspirators need to quietly dispose of two dead bodies, so they blow up an entire building and try to pretend that the corpses were killed in the explosion. This is such a stupid plot that the film makers double down, depicting a senior FBI agent as dutifully following orders from the conspiracy folks: he sits next to the bomb waiting for it to explode, making sure that nobody pulls the plug on the cartoon count-down timer.

Mulder and Scully both get
to see an alien spaceship.

At this point in the film, even Mulder had to look at the camera and say "That makes no sense."

Okay, ignore the idiotic plot. Someone has warned the FBI that a bomb has been planted, but the tipster falsely says the bomb is in a building across the street. Mulder risks being reprimanded but "on a hunch" he takes Scully across the street to the actual building that is going to be destroyed. The film makers don't even try to explain how Mulder "knows" where to search for the bomb, so the start of Fight the Future has the same feel as a Vance story where Kirth Gersen inexplicably ending up in exactly the right place to defeat the bad guy.

latex aliens

But wait! It can't be that easy! If your hero can magically see the future or read the minds of the perpetrator, then there is no adventure. The hero must sweat a bit! For Fight the Future, after Mulder gets to the doomed building, his spooky senses fail him. He goes to the roof of the building to look for the bomb (don't ask why) and it is a hot day. If he had instead searched inside the building, he never would have gotten hot and thirsty. Of course, the bomb is not on the roof, but returning to the ground floor for a cold drink, Mulder finds the bomb, hidden inside a soda vending machine. Inexplicably, after Mulder strolled into the snack room, nobody else can enter into that room. Somebody put chewing gum in the door lock! Will Mulder be blown to pieces? We are only a few minutes into the film, so we all know that he will not be vaporized in the explosion. Also, the X-files has been renewed and season 6 is forthcoming.

Hurry, Scully, we have to get out of this movie!

Viewers might as well laugh at the multiplying plot holes. The FBI supervisor arrives with the steel door-cutting team (sparks fly as the timer ticks down to BOOM!), cuts open the door and orders Mulder to get out of the building.

It gets worse.
After all that (the building is blown up along with the FBI supervisor), the two corpses are pulled from the rubble and brought back to a morgue in Washington where Mulder and Scully can talk their way past military police guards and examine the bodies. It is immediately clear that they were not killed by the explosion.

Mulder chased through a corn
field by a giant flying flashlight.
Don't ask.

We must conclude that this entire introduction to the film was engineered to meet the Union requirement that there be a BIG explosion in the film. Due to the inexplicable complexity of how the conspirators tried to hide the cause of death of the two corpses, Mulder was given the chance to learn that the two deaths are linked to the global alien invasion conspiracy.

Chris Carter's film-making formula: "Just keep blowing things up and hope they don't notice that the plot makes no sense."

You're calling me crazy?

For this second phase of the unraveling global conspiracy, "Spooky" Mulder does not guess which building in Washington now holds the two mystery corpses. He is told where to look by a nut-job conspiracy theorist who knows all about the on-going global conspiracy except for any actual details. Mulder and the conspiracy theorist bond and spend the middle part of the film chatting and urinating in the dark alleys of Washington.

"They shot me in the head,
but I got better"

Union requirements also required inclusion of a shooting in the film. Mulder gets shot at point-blank range and survives. Luck again? We'd all rather be lucky than dead, but like the cartoon count-down timer of the bomb, there is another clock ticking and it is used to make sure that the life of either Scully or Mulder is threatened in every X-Files episode. In the television series, all these comic book threats to the stars of The X-Files do not have to make sense, we just need a cliff-hanger that will bring viewers back after each commercial break. This TV formula was applied to the film, too.

Fight for the Jiffy Pop popcorn jokes.

The Film Makers Union strikes again. Union requirements also led to the inclusion of a car chase in Fight the Future. Mulder has to chase after a train because the global conspiracy uses train cars to haul evidence of the invading aliens across the vast hinterland of the USA to secret bases of the conspirators.

Yes, it looks like a virus to me,
but don't take my word for it,
let's use Scully's magical
virus detecting microscope!

Except when they don't, particularly when Scully gets infected by the alien virus and, since she is the star of the show, she gets sent to Antarctica.

What virus?
At this point you ask, "What virus?" Which, in turn, raises the question: do either Carter or Spotnitz know what a virus is? In order to accomplish their invasion of Earth, the aliens first send into outer space a "virus" which lands on planets like Earth and waits for many millions of years until the film industry can develop to the point where it becomes possible to produce an alien invasion flick.

the leaky conspiracy

Then, just in time for the filming of Fight the Future, the alien virus "mutates" and begins transforming the bodies of dead humans into bouncing baby aliens.

BUT, all is not lost because the global conspirators have devised a "weak vaccine" which, when injected into someone already infected by the alien's virus, magically saves the poor infected victim.

conspirator bee

The car/train chase leads Mulder to a secret base where the conspirators are preparing millions of honey bees to serve as the vector for efficiently spreading the alien virus to the human population of Earth.

Scully is "stung" by a bee and must be injected with the vaccine in order to prevent her body from birthing an alien creature. Sure, sure, I'll buy ALL of that. But how does Mulder get the vaccine and know how to find Scully at the secret base in Antarctica?

1998

Duh. Because after 50 years of the super-secret conspiracy, one of the top folks running the global conspiracy gives Mulder the vaccine and the coordinates of the secret base. So much for the paranormal abilities of Mulder, telepathic or otherwise. Even the leaders of the global conspiracy got the news that Fox had renewed The X-Files for another season and Scully needed to be rescued.

more lies

Science Fiction
It turns out that the secret base in Antarctica was built on top of a Ginormous alien spaceship. As soon as Scully is injected with the vaccine, the alien spaceship activates and rises into the sky.

How does use of the vaccine re-activate a spaceship? Obviously, this is because the film'$ budget limit had been reached and Carter needed to wrap things up quickly. Mulder and Scully return to Washington with just enough evidence of the alien conspiracy (one dead bee) to keep the X-Files in business for another season. Whew!

before the bee

Some X-Files fans have concluded that what made Fight the Future a good movie was that it developed the relationship between Mulder and Scully. Mulder confesses that he needs Scully to keep him from going off the rails and being just another "UFO nut". Scully confesses that she must continue to work with Mulder to find "the TRUTH™", so she abandons her dream of a career in medicine and stays with the X-Files Mulder.

I want to Squeam

tube fed

The parts of The X-Files that I've always liked the least are the horror elements. However, I have a strange confession about Fight the Future. In the silly scene where Mulder has traveled across Antarctica to rescue Scully, his spooky good luck comes through once again. He falls through the ice into a convenient ventilation shaft that takes him (like sliding down a playground slide) right to Scully. She's being kept cool, submerged in ice water, with some kind of alien Hi Tek™ breathing/feeding tube in her mouth. Mulder starts pulling out the tube and he keeps pulling and pulling and pulling... Very silly but I was amused.

Chris Carter's alien technology tease

Pulling the alien device out of Scully's body is a very disgusting visual film gimmick, but it struck me as a nice way to show fans of the X-files mythology an example of strange alien technology that we Earthlings can't understand, but which would make perfect sense to the more technologically savvy aliens.

Related Reading: some Demon Princes fan-fiction

Next: The Gensifer Clan

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The eXode-Files

X-7

Fifteen years ago I wrote my first fan-fiction story, "Fly Paper". At that time, I imagined that The X-Files television series was complete, but then we eventually had "seasons" 10 and 11. Back in 2018, half of the Mulder-Scully duo bowed out and said "no more X for me". So, why am I thinking about The X-Files here in 2020?

In 2015 I imagined a global-scale Y-Files television show that would depict fantasy scientific investigations in the spirit of The X-Files. Rather than feature entertaining agents of the FBI, why not expand the scope of the stories with an International Scientific Investigation Organization (ISIO)?

Replicoids in space.

Currently, I'm writing a new first chapter for A Search Beyond. I've decided to try starting the Exode Saga with the death of Nirutam, an alien visitor to Earth. At first, I imagined Nirutam quietly "disappearing" after having completed "her" mission on Earth. I was cheerfully writing about Nirutam's grave and a sad little pile of stones to cover her dead body. Then suddenly I realized that it might not be so simple to make Nirutam "disappear".

ISIO
I was ready to have two agents from ISIO appear and investigate the disappearance of Nirutam. But wait... not so fast!

Fitting The X-Files into the science fiction genre puzzle.

On second thought, maybe the idea of having ISIO agents appear within just a few days of Nirutam's death is too much of a coincidence. I don't really mind wild coincidences in science fiction stories when they advance the plot, but why ruthlessly drop needless coincidences on readers when you can avoid them?
                                                         For Example

1995 edition

In Heinlein's "Have Space Suit - Will Travel", we are taken into a future time when humans have begun to spread outward into space from Earth, having established a base on the Moon. A few wealthy tourists can even afford a trip to the Moon.

Peewee not wearing her spacesuit.
Original 1958 cover art
by Edmund Emshwiller

Heinlein's story reminds me of Vandals of the Void by Jack Vance and Asimov's Oceans of Venus. I hate the idea that science fiction authors in need of a paycheck would quickly write "juvenile" stories and not put much care into devising a sensible plot because, after all, the young kids reading it will not notice or care if there were absurd coincidences driving the plot.

First Contact Coincidence
In "Have Space Suit - Will Travel", right when Earthlings are just starting their Space Age, coincidentally, another species from a nearby star system has recently sneaked into the Solar System and those aliens casually kidnap some humans, including a young girl (Peewee).

cryovolcano on Pluto (1958)

Oh, and by the way, these sneaky aliens are ugly (the "wormface" species) and they like to eat humans. Heinlein wanted to depict some really Evil™ and easy-to-hate aliens for his young readers and then, in the end, give those Evil™ aliens the death penalty and kill off the entire wormface species in a planetary act of genocide. Just the ticket for young impressionable minds!

Another Coincidence
Meanwhile, back on Earth, another young Earthling (Kip) happens to be out for a walk one evening while wearing a space suit. An alien spaceship lands on him and out pops Peewee who has escaped from the aliens. Sorry, but even when I was 12 years old, these coincidences did not sit well with me.

Eliminated from our universe by
the warm and fuzzy Dr. M. Thing,
the Evil™ Wormface was
spun into the Dr. Whoverse

Double Abduction
Next, both of our young protagonists are abducted by the Evil™ aliens and we are off on an adventure to the Moon and then Pluto and then Vega and then another galaxy...

The alien abduction industry was ju$t getting $tarted in the 1950s (example) and Heinlein jumped on-board with "Have $pace $uit - Will Travel".

In Search of the Source
The 1946 comic "Futura" contained the same basic plot used by Heinlein in his 1958 "Have Space Suit - Will Travel". In "Futura", the spunky Marcia Reynolds is abducted by aliens, but she manages to escape by stealing an alien spaceship. In Heinlein's "Have Space Suit - Will Travel", the spunky Patricia Reisfeld (A.K.A. Peewee) is abducted by aliens, but she manages to escape by stealing an alien spaceship.

Marcia Reynolds is alien abduction Specimen 9 (Futura 1946)

Jose Chung's "The X-vengers".

More Alien Invaders, Please
Rumor has it that when he created The X-Files, Chris Carter had read only two science fiction novels, one of them written by Heinlein. Carter wanted a core theme in The X-Files that would involve mysterious alien visitors to Earth. After Carter was hired by Peter Roth, a tug-of-war began... would The X-Files be science fiction, horror, fantasy? Why not all of the above? Throw in the kitchen sink and even include some sexual tension.

The Avengers
I can remember my older brother intently watching The Avengers on television. That TV show had little meaning for me: I was too young to tune in to the sexual tension and as a budding science nerd I was put-off by its silliness.

Transformation of Peewee through time.

But Chris Carter was the same age as my older brother. While creating The X-Files, Carter wanted to include the kind of male/female partner dynamic that had been pioneered for television by The Avengers.

Yes, I confess; when I was 12 years old and in my personal Golden Age of discovering science fiction, I eagerly gobbled up several Heinlein stories (including Orphans of the Sky). And, like most viewers, I enjoyed the on-screen relationship between Mulder and Scully in The X-Files. However, I have a long history of impatience with silly alien invasion and alien abduction stories.

source

Now that I'm dealing with my own alien invader (Nirutam), I want to avoid silly alien invasion tropes like aliens who eat humans and aliens are coming to raid Earth and take our gold.

eXode
For the Exode Saga, I'm now imagining two members of a tryp'At remnant group on Earth who pretend to be ISIO agents. They arrive on the scene soon after the death of Nirutam and they search the house of the Editor for Nirutam. The editor watches nervously while the guest house is searched, but Nirutam's severed finger is no longer in the freezer. Zeta notices that Nirutam's pet cat is now missing, too.

Next: Maturin the Selfie

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William's Woe

Daddy issue: this time for sure

Before The X-Files Season 11 finale, I wrote my wish list for how the Saga of William might play out. As a science fiction fan, my wishes were based on the hope that Sci Fi themes would dominate the finale, but this episode was light on the Sci Fi revelations. The coolest part of the show was when we got to see Mr. Y's hi-tek flying machine (see below).

My Struggle 4...
1. William's struggle. The ever-lying CSM told Skinner who told Scully who told Mulder that William was an experiment: a fetus carried to term by Scully, but who was not Mulder's son. All that Mr. Y would say was "You still don't get it, do you?" I suppose Chris Carter wants to do more X-Files, so we could not be told anything useful. We did get to see William's growing powers. He can explode the bodies of anyone who threatens him and he made the CSM believe that he (the CSM) was shooting Mulder.

William

William even made Mulder think that William had been killed by the CSM, but in the very last scene, viewers got to see that William is still alive.

The end of the Syndicate:
the exploding Barbara Hershey

2. Aliens. The alien tease continues. Endlessly. The whole meandering plot thread about a "Spartan virus" that can be countered by "alien DNA" died a quiet death during the finale. Was the "Spartan virus" just a lie from the CSM, just a trick aimed at allowing the Syndicate to find William? Will we ever see Mr. Y's cool flying machine again? Can you say "Season 12"?

The P-Files

3. The End of Scully. I was expecting a dramatic end point for special agent Scully. She and Mulder got fired from the FBI, again. And she's miraculously pregnant, again. Apparently, this time (for sure) Mulder IS the father. With everyone else dead, I guess Dana, Fox and the new baby get to live quietly in retirement... or maybe their adventures continue (see below).

the shape of alien water

4. Next. Skinner shot Reyes. Skinner got run over. Mulder shot Mr. Y and the CSM (and a bunch of extras). Barbara Hershey got exploded by William. If Mulder and Scully and baby are out of the FBI, then who will do Season 12 of The X-Files? I suppose it is like the Trump White House, there is no shortage of people willing to take on the assignment.

Half Time

Look, Ma, no hands.

"My Struggle IV" felt like it had originally been a two hour show, but it was seemingly cut down (spinning off what became the mid-season "Ghouli") so as to fit the finale into 50 minutes of non-linear story telling. Were the non-linear parts supposed to be William's view of future events? Who knows. I'm thankful that it was only 50 minutes. It seemed like half of the show consisted of loooong car chases and loooong chases on foot. Yawn.

He has a 2 hour head start,
but I'll catch up. Vrooooom.

In a previous millennium, the rule was "shoot first and then ask questions". For Chris Carter, there are no rules, so: "just shoot a lot and maybe everyone will forget to ask questions." Oh, and don't forget this: in Season 12 viewers might find out that this episode was all just a dream, too.

Superman
William is a superman. Given his super-powers, it is hard to understand how anything can really threaten him.

The endless alien tease: is this as close as Chris
Carter will let us get to an X-Files alien?

By running (seemingly endlessly) through the Sugar Factory, William was able to both: 1) have a moment to say goodby to dear old Mom and 2) arrange to give Mulder the satisfaction of killing the CSM.

I'd still like to see Mulder and Scully take Mr. Y's spaceship and depart from Earth and The X-Files. There can be some kind of X-Files: The Next Generation television show that includes a satisfying account of the aliens and how alien technology (and DNA) was deployed on Earth.

Secret Syndicate Space Shuttle

It would be fun if Mulder and Scully took Mr. Y's spaceship for a spin and ended up on some planet with aliens. In Season 12 there could be occasional messages sent back to Earth from Scully and Mulder as they work on the alien issue from a far star system. A computerized voice synthesizer could do better for voice messages from a far star than Anderson did in the last few episodes of Season 11 with her raspy voice.

Luke William, I'm not your father.

What about super-man William and the other people of Earth who have bits and pieces of alien DNA and various doses of telepathic ability? Maybe we could learn in Season 12 that William knew he could not have a future with his Mom, but he had a role in the "miracle" of Scully's second pregnancy. Maybe William used his special powers to give Scully and Mulder a child who would be their "replacement" for William.

Go to the Season 11 main page.
Next: SIHA 2018.

Struggle 4

William's struggle

This is my wish list in advance of The X-Files Season 11 final episode "My Struggle IV").

1. William
My expectation is that we will learn about William's struggle to survive and build a (normal? livable?) life for himself. As a science fiction fan, I hope we learn something "juicy" such as how alien technology/DNA is what powers William's telepathic powers.

2. Aliens

Alien spaceship

The X-Files has long teased fans with aliens, alien spacecraft and "alien DNA". I'm not happy that the teaser video from FOX TV for the final episode is full of gun violence and has no mention of aliens.

3. Dana's Immortality
The X-Files has had fun with the idea that Dana is immortal. We were told that she has a chunk of "alien DNA" that can protect her from the Spartan Virus. With Anderson leaving the show, it would be fun if there was a dramatic end point for Dana Scully here at the end of Season 11.

4. X-Files the Next Generation

I'd like the Season 11 finale to make clear that the X-Files could go on, even without Anderson and (my preference) without Chris Carter in control.

I'd like to see the mysterious Mr. Y show up with a spaceship that uses alien technology. The remnants of the Syndicate want to take William off into outer space and provide a new beginning for humanity, however, at the last minute they settle for taking Dana away from Earth. Mulder gets to go along for the ride.

William uses his telepathic abilities to trick Skinner and the CSM into shooting each other. Even after a catastrophic head wound, there could be a scene at the end suggesting that the CSM is immortal, due to the alien medical nanites that are in his body.

Season 12

The Y-Files
Season 12 would begin with a new international investigative agency continuing on in the spirit of the X-Files. In the background would be William and other humans who have unusual abilities due to their alien DNA and their control of alien nanite technology.

Next: episode 10

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Winter of Dis Content

I've got your bloody back

Heading into the home stretch at the end of The X-Files Season 11, I was not expecting much from episodes 8 and 9. I was pleased to discover that episode 8 was well-paced and not too annoying. In contrast, episode 9, "Nothing Lasts Forever", seemed to last forever. This story might have made a lame 30 minute Twilight Zone episode, but as a one hour X-Files case, it seemed absurd and repetitive.

Kokor Hekkus
Some of my dissatisfaction with "Nothing Lasts Forever" arises from the fact that I'm a fan of Jack Vance. Vance's story "The Killing Machine" includes the idea of a "bad guy" who has the secret of eternal youth, which involves taking special youth-conferring substances from the bodies of young people.

Lame horror episodes distracting
you from the search for William?
Wait... there's an app for that.

Of course, Vance deployed this plot element in a far more entertaining way than did The X-Files. "Gratuitous and shock value is boring"... exactly how I would describe this episode.

Dis Content

Season 11 summary:
"Let's throw Scully in the trash".

I suppose that Chris Carter (and his buddies like Wong) feel that The X-Files is their baby and they can do what they want to do with the show. They probably get tired of being told how to run "their" show. "You want female writers, okay, here you go." Here is an episode that does nothing to advance the story arc, even though we are now just one hour from the end. Anderson complained about not getting equal pay? Okay, we'll throw her in the trash. It is not a good look for any television show when the show runners seem to be dissing the fans.

Get the point?

Most of my dissatisfaction with "Nothing Lasts Forever" arises from the fact that I don't like horror. For 50 years the mad scientist/doctor has been doing vampire-like experiments in life extension, but now, because we have no idea how to advance our television show, we'll cold open with a crazed sister who has penetrated the dark cult and is taking revenge. Is she one of the telepathic kids like William, so she was able to discover the super-secret cult? Nobody associated with The X-Files cares, so another opportunity for some actual science fiction is lost.

Next: wishes for episode 10.

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