Feb 23, 2016


the Third Doctor
I usually describe The X-Files as television that requires you to turn off half of your brain. Towards that end, tonight during the season 10 finale, some fans were playing an X-Files drinking game: drink a shot every time someone says "alien DNA".

Carter's Struggle to Get to Season 11
I can't fault Chris Carter for trying to build a bridge towards a third X-Files movie or a season 11. I was only paying attention to season 10 because I've long fantasized about ways to turn The X-files into a fun science fiction show with interesting aliens.

Dr. McCoy: the First Doctor
I had no expectation that Chris Carter might share that dream. Rather than tell us something interesting about aliens, Carter concocted a conspiracy in which a secret cabal uses a biological weapon to exterminate humanity.

I'm pretty sure that Chris Carter lifted the plot for his finale from a Star Trek episode. Maybe it was 'Miri' or 'The Deadly Years'; it doesn't matter. We got Dr. McCoy Scully magically finding the cure with 2 minutes left in the episode.

the Fourth Doctor
No Nomination for You!
Every year I do a Search for Interesting Hollywood Aliens (SIHA). For season 10, Carter essentially wrote aliens out of The X-files. I had a fantasy about the possibility that Carter would link the paranormal abilities of people (such as William) to aliens, but I now suspect that Carter holds the paranormal themes of the X-files in a different compartment of his brain, far away from the lobe that is obsessed with the conspiratorial "mythology" of The X-Files.

24 and You
the Second Doctor
The "science" in the season 10 finale was used to suggest that Scully has a small amount of "anomalous DNA" that can protect her (or anyone) from the bioengineered plague that caused traffic jams in the finale.

Mulder's morning face
Clearly, Scully's special fragment of DNA is miraculous: it even allowed her to drive across Vancouver while everyone else in town was carefully blocking the streets with their parked cars.

Global Contagion
There's no explanation for how Carter's zombie apocalypse is suddenly triggered. Or how Mulder suddenly becomes an expert in had-to-hand fighting. And discovers how to find the CSM.

The Far Fringes of Accepted Science
watch Chris Carter make
the aliens disappear
Sadly, the "Scully Vaccine" arrives too late to save Mulder, so Scully announces that he can only be saved by stem cells from William.

Light in the Sky
zombie patient #1
William was born under a bright light in the sky and at the end of the finale, an ARV arrives to put a spotlight on Scully. Has the god-like CSM arrived just in the nick of time to save his son (Mulder)?

the star of our show
In the middle of "My Struggle II", Scully states our predicament. Scully: "I hope that there is an explanation for this, but right now we are in deep trouble." Carter has painted himself into a corner where even Hollywood "science" can't rescue us from muddled plots.

Darth CSM
More importantly, is there anyone who cares about (or wants to believe in) Carter's latest conspiracy theory?

the Chosen
One of the charms of the original X-Files was that fans could pretend that Scully and Mulder existed within our world. With 'My Struggle II', Carter jumped the shark and left our world behind. Unless we learn in season 11's "My Struggle III" that the immune system-destroying plague of the season 10 finale was all just a dream.

Reyes: "I just called to give you a backstory exposition dump."

The magical morphing Scully
a global conspiracy of graffiti
I was particularly annoyed by the "Superbowl teaser" that showed Scully morphing into an alien-like form. I suppose we are expected to accept this as a visual metaphor for Chris Carter's fear mongering about the mystery of Scully's anomalous DNA.

Spartan Virus
Scully: "It's a virus within a virus."
Well, that explains everything.
It's a conspiracy within a conspiracy to find the "vaccine", the protective "alien DNA" that lies near the centromere of Scully's chromosome 17.

Scully is sciencing the shit out
of the zombie apocalypse
tune in next time....
All we need to do is extract enough of Scully's alien DNA. Wait, that's not all! Einstein: "We have to centrifuge it." Thank god for Einstein.

I can see season 11 in which Monica leads us to William and Mulder is saved. But if everyone in the world is saved by Scully's DNA "vaccine" and stem cells then what new conspiracy will Chris Carter come up with? Tune in for season 11...

As they say in Hollywood
Chris Carter: "We go out with a whimper."

Previously on the X-Files
Jan. 24: pre-season 10 anticipation
Jan. 25: reaction to 'My Struggle I'
'Founder's Mutation'
Jan. 31: waiting for the Were-monster
reaction to 'Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster'
Feb. 10: 'Home Again'
Feb. 16: reaction to 'Babylon'.
2018: teleport to The X-Files Season 11
from a discussion on io9
Next: evidence for aliens on Earth.
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