Band-Aid Nose Man Downtown is snot funny |
I'm not a fan of horror, and I don't pretend to understand what it is about horror stories that appeals to some people, but as an example of a "lame monster" we need look no further than last night's episode, 'Home Again'. The magically odoriferous "Band-Aid Nose Man" seems to be the latest reincarnation of the garbage monster from 'Arcadia', a season 6 episode.
Let's science the shit out of this band-aid! |
Mulder recovers a "band-aid" at the scene of a grisly murder and has it subjected to forensic analysis. The poor evidence analyst is baffled because the gunky material on the band-aid can't be analyzed; he claims that is is neither organic or inorganic.
Where are we? First, will someone please teach the intern about the difference between "S10" and "S1"..... |
nose job |
another creature that was "thought into being" by Trashman |
It is fun to imagine a science fictional backstory that would account for the paranormal mysteries of The X-Files in terms of imaginary science. Can we science the shit out of Band-Aid Nose Man?
The big break in the case: "special spray paint" that is used by Trashman and only sold by one store. |
Mr. Science: "It's not alive. It's not dead." |
Golly Mr. Science!
Just when science might actually tell us something interesting about Scully's "alien DNA" or the material constituents of "Band-Aid Nose Man" then suddenly the evidence is unavailable. Welcome to The X-Files. However, forensic science does successfully advance the FBI investigation in 'Home Again".
The X-Files Law of Science: science need only work when Glen Morgan's episode is running out of time; if 5 minutes remain in the show and we need to catch the damn perp already, then vibrational analysis can quickly save the day!
We are responsible for the science fictional backstory. |
Paranormal Genetics
What about telepathy and telekinesis? As was true for the previous episode, in 'Home Again' there were two episodes in one. In episode B, we were reminded of William's paranormal abilities and Scully's ability to communicate to and from an alternate universe of "dead souls".
Home Again, Episode B: Scully's mid-life crisis |
A quarter for your telepathic thoughts. Margaret Scully's link to Charlie? |
Our Struggle |
Babylon 6 or X-Files: The Next Generation |
Location, location, location! Vancouver beach, Washington, D.C. |
It is all rather sad. Nothing has changed in 23 years from what was in the original X-Files pilot episode.
I suppose that Chris Carter would be happy to endlessly keep producing the same type of "we never get anywhere" stories. It reminds me of the Millerites. Is there a Carter Cult, a group of fans who only hold in common a deep and endless desire to believe? In the Carter Cult, you do not have to believe in anything, so Carter never has to deliver any answers, just an endless stream of mystery. Yawn.
visit the Gallery of Posters |
I don't know which was more absurd, Mulder's trial at the end of The X-Files or the trial at the end of Seinfeld.
Heading into the end of Season 10, will Carter mention the year 2012 or do a zombie revival of Mulder's belief that he can speak to the dead?
Next: genetically engineered humans
Zombie Morphing Alien Cowboys of the FBI |
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