Let's have some fun with baseball. Back in 2022, I awarded a retro-SIHA (Search for Interesting Hollywood Aliens) to "The Unnatural", an amusing episode of The X-Files that was about an alien visitor to Earth who liked to play baseball. That choice for a SIHA award arose after I made an effort to find and read every published science fiction story about baseball (see this blog post).
Liar. When I was a kid, before there were computerized games, we would play backyard games of "two-player wiffle ball with ghost runners". I asked Gemini to make an image illustrating: "a robot and a space alien (the robot and alien drawn in the style of 1940s science fiction pulp magazine cover art) playing two-player wiffle ball on the backyard lawn of a suburban house." Gemini refused, claiming "I cannot directly generate and display images". That was a lie. Look down this page where there is Figure 3, which was created by Gemini. (also see this Gemini-generated image from December 2024)
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Figure 1. Aliens, robots & baseball.
Click image to enlarge.
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I'll Do It! WOMBO Dream indulged my fantasy and created the image that is shown to the left. The two biggest problems I had while collaborating with Mr. Wombo to make this image are 1) it seems that the WOMBO training set may include very few images of gray aliens as seen from behind and 2) any mention of a robot tends to prevent Mr. Wombo from generating a space alien and instead it will make two robots in this scene. I manually added the girl who is watching from the porch. The pastel "UFO" was taken from another image that Mr. Wombo generated and I pasted into this scene.
It was by playing two-player wiffle ball as a child that I learned the concept of a "ghost runner". I was puzzled when the MLB automatic runner rule went into effect and some people began calling the runner who starts an inning on second base a "ghost runner". But what if there actually were ghosts in a baseball game? Read on...
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Figure 2. A runner on
second base (left) and
an infielder (right).
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Don't Just Stand There. I've previously (see this 2023 blog post) struggled with Mr. Wombo to get AI-generated images that depict human beings actually doing something interesting. Since these AI image generators do not understand anything, they struggle to create realistic scenes depicting action on a baseball field. In Figure 1, the gray alien is standing like a statue, which might actually be appropriate if this scene depicts the first time for the alien playing baseball.
Below, is a short (2,400 words) science fiction story called "Doomed Skankies!" in which I incorporate a player named "Alex Statue" into an imaginary baseball game (see Figure 4). Mr. Wombo prefers to depict people who are "just standing around" (for example, see Figure 2, to the right).
Alien Invasion. I generally despise alien invasion stories, but what if the alien invaders only came to Earth so that they could play baseball? ⚾
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Alien baseball players.
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Alien Ghost Runners. Here in this blog post (below), since it is the middle of the baseball season, I'm going to have some more fun with baseball in an imaginary science fiction setting. Mysterious space aliens have arrived on one of the many copies of Earth that exist in our galaxy in the Ekcolir Reality and they have started participating in baseball games. Alien participation in baseball games is made possible by a new rule change for Major League Baseball that was forced upon the people of Earth by the alien invaders. 👽
In the Ekcolir Reality, I imagine that there are ancient aliens with advanced technology that makes it possible to create "teleportation duplicates" of entire planets. For my story "Doomed Skankies!" (below), imagine that the events take place on a copy of Earth with a culture that has diverged slightly from human culture on our little planet.
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A league they can own.
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In the Ekcolir Reality. I have been exploring science fiction stories that are set in the Ekcolir Reality, a
Reality where the pace of technological advance was somewhat faster than in our timeline and where women played a dominant role in politics and achieved greater equality in sports. For example, in Major League Baseball of the Ekcolir Reality, each team was required to have equal numbers of men and women on their roster. Terminology note: in the Ekcolir Reality, "skank" is a term of endearment.
Imagine that it is the last day of the baseball regular season and two baseball teams are competing in a one-game playoff to determine who wins their division. We join a radio broadcast already in progress...
Doomed Skankies!
Vincenta Scully: {after a commercial break} We're back for extra innings at historic Zenway park in Boston!
Moldy Fuchs: Hopefully only one extra inning, Vinnie. I have a hot date planned for this evening.
Vincenta Scully: What date? You don't date, Moldy. If need be, you can catch the later showing of "Deep Throat" in the Combat Zone.
Moldy Fuchs: Ah, Vinnie, you know what I like. Care to join me for a wild night on the old Bean Town?
Vincenta Scully: Well, baseball fans, I fear our color commentator is a bit too colorful today. Back to the game, er, the baseball game... having already used their regular closer in the 9th inning, the Boston Red Gloves have now brought in pitcher Mo "Handy" Walker to shut-down the Skankies' bats in the 10th inning. She's the only active switch-pitcher in Major League Baseball!
Moldy Fuchs: And since the left-handed hitting "Babe" Tooth will lead off for the New York Skankies, the switch-pitcher Walker has told the umpire that she is going to pitch left-handed.
Vincenta Scully: However, the Skankies manager is now signalling for the Babe to return to the dugout. And here comes a pinch hitter, Balfour, to the plate, replacing "Babe" Tooth in the Skankies lineup.
Moldy Fuchs: Typical dirty dealing by the Skankies. Now Walker is stuck pitching left-handed to the switch-hitting Balfour who was left out of the lineup today because of a broken left pinky toe suffered in yesterday's game.
Vincenta Scully: Balfour limps to the left side of home plate and is going to hit right-handed.
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| Balfour |
Moldy Fuchs: Don't expect to see Balfour racing around the base paths with that broken toe.
Vincenta Scully: The pitch clock is counting down... 5, 4, 3- and Walker delivers a slerve that is low and outside; ball one, in the dirt.
Moldy Fuchs: Ew. That was not a competitive pitch.
Vincenta Scully: Walker delivers. That was a 99 mile an hour fastball, high and tight for ball two to Balfour.
Moldy Fuchs: This looks like a pitch-around. Walker wants nothing to do with the Skankies slugger, Balfour, regardless of the broken toe.
Vincenta Scully: Yikes! Was that a knuckle ball? Ball three.
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Generated by WOMBO Dream.
Text prompt: "a baseball catcher
wearing a catcher's mitt
that looks like a porcupine"
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Moldy Fuchs: Walker
will throw a knuckler about 5 percent of the time, particularly against righties, just to shake them up and try to get them off-balance.
Vincenta Scully: Well fans, this is just the latest intriguing twist in this thrilling zero-to-zero pitchers duel. I'd take a well-placed knuckler from Walker any day of the week.
Moldy Fuchs: How can you call this game 'thrilling'? I'm bored to tears. Nine innings of scoreless, utter futility baseball while I could have been enjoying myself with hot adult entertainment in Boston's Combat Zone. And now we suffer through the tedium of an intentional walk to the MLB player with the highest batting average. Balfour is leading the American League with the most home runs this season and opposing pitchers such as Walker are afraid to throw him a strike. Yawn.
Vincenta Scully: Balfour walks on a sweeper that was way off of the plate. The catcher for the Red Gloves, Fielder, somehow managed to snag it, preventing the ball from going all the way to the backstop.
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Figure 3. Generated by Gemini. "a catcher's mitt
that looks like a porcupine"
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Moldy Fuchs: That is the league-leading 194th walk for Balfour this season. "Handy" Walker lives up to her name.
Strangely, the ghost runner apparently stayed on second base, missing a prime opportunity to go to third with Fielder sprawled in the dirt across the batters box after he made a diving stop on that wildly outside pitch from Walker. Inexplicable events such as this make me wonder if the aliens have a secret agenda...
Vincenta Scully: That brings the young rookie, T. Ball, to the plate with runners on first and second and nobody out. Here at Zenway, we're in the top of the tenth inning with the tension mounting and, so far, neither Moldy nor either team has been able to score today.
Moldy Fuchs: Again we are confronted by the philosophical question... if
an alien ghost runner is on second, but nobody can see a ghost, then...
Vincenta
Scully: Don't go there Moldy! You know the umpires are all equipped
with xx-ray technology that allows them -and only them- to see the ghost
runners. We simply have to have faith in the umpires.
Moldy Fuchs: I don't buy it Scully. These xx-ray goggles for the umpires are mysterious technology from Area 51. I'm a skeptic... don't ask me to take anything on faith.
Vincenta Scully: Ever since First Contact with the ghostly aliens from Andromeda, we've had to trust the government to deal with the alien invasion. It has been quite an ordeal for baseball fans since the aliens forced MLB into this crazy alien on second base ghost runner rule.
Moldy Fuchs: Ya,
extra-terrestrials for extra-innings. What a lame publicity stunt by the Commissioner. And now we're stuck with it.
Vincenta Scully: Maybe next year the Commissioner will adopt your suggestion of distributing xxx-ray goggles to horny color commentators.
Moldy Fuchs: That's the only thing that keeps my hopes up. I hope those rumored xxx-ray goggles will allow me see though the stiff business suits that you always wear, Vinnie. I suspect there is a woman under there somewhere.
Vincenta Scully: I'm glad you have your dreams, Moldy. T. Ball is digging in at the plate like a gopher! And all that digging earns poor T. Ball a clock violation. Strike one.
Moldy Fuchs: Over at first, Cannon is not even trying to keep Balfour honest.
Vincenta Scully: Why bother trying to stop base stealing when there is
an invisible alien on second base? Here's the windup and the pitch... T.
Ball turns around a fastball! A screaming liner zips past Walker's ear,
deflects off of her gorgeous hair, the shortstop I. M. Short leaps and
catches- No! Short drops the ball! He recovers and under-hands to the
second baseman, Secundo, who is covering second and then quickly throws
on to first for a double play!
Moldy Fuchs: Wait..... Skankies third base coach Willie "Rotator" Cuff seems to be windmilling the ghost runner around third! They say that Willie can hear the alien ghosts running, even over the noise of the crowd.
Vincenta Scully: Over at first, Cannon has finally noticed what's happening with the ghost runner. He fires a strike to Fielder at the plate, but poor Fielder can't see the ghost runner. Fielder desperately tries to block home plate. All I see is a cloud of dust swirling around the plate!
Moldy Fuchs: Now plate umpire, I. C. Clearly, has signaled 'safe'. Apparently, the ghost runner came all the way from second base to home during that play and avoided the tag attempt by Fielder at the plate.
Vincenta Scully: The Boston Red Gloves manager, "Crystal" Davies, has come out of the home team dugout and is challenging the call at the plate. Judging by the way that "Crystal" is waving her sword in the air, I have to assume that she's quite upset by that call. It is now up to the replay staff in New York to confirm the call.
Moldy Fuchs: So bogus! Of course the folks in New York are going to give that invisible run to the dirty-dealing Skankies.
Vincenta Scully: Moldy, are you suggesting systematic bias from the MLB replay room in New York?
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Two Boston Red Gloves
players try to figure out where
the AI put the baseball.
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Moldy Fuchs: In the interest of avoiding a fine from MLB and an end to my broadcast career, I never make wild, sweeping generalizations or accusations about the cloistered replay officials who cannot themselves be challenged or questioned. I just call each play as I see it. However, I must report the truth: that social media platforms in Boston have been buzzing with rumors about alien infiltration and control of the MLB replay room in New York.
Vincenta Scully: I don't need to remind baseball fans that Davies got her nickname because of her seemingly magical ability to almost always have her challenges of calls upheld.
Moldy Fuchs: No doubt about it, Vinnie, Davies is spooky. It is through her efforts that MLB instituted the open carry rule for swords on the playing field. It looks like the call from New York has arrived...
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| "Twinkletoes" Klutzenpoof |
Vincenta Scully: New York confirmed the call that was made on the field. Now there are two outs and one run is in with "Twinkletoes" Klutzenpoof coming to the plate. Here's a quick pitch from Walker. It is a swinging bunt by Klutzenpoof who spins in a circle and trips over his own feet! Walker casually walks off the mound, picks up the slow dribbler with his bare hand and throws out the runner!
Moldy Fuchs: Klutzenpoof looked more like a stumbler than a runner on that play. That does it for the Skankies in the tenth, but they get one run and take a lead.
Vincenta Scully: We'll stay right here without commercial break as the Skankie defenders take the field for the bottom of the tenth inning in this thrilling 1 to 0 game.
Moldy Fuchs: And it is Steele coming out of the bullpen to pitch for the Skankies.
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A. Dish
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Vincenta Scully: A strange choice for the Skankies pitching coach, Spitter Jones. Steele has never been able to hold runners on base.
Moldy Fuchs: There's a change in the Skankies lineup. Steele starts throwing warm-up pitches to a new catcher... it is Anabell Dish, recently brought up from the AAA RailRiders because the fashion industry folks in New York demanded it.
Vincenta Scully: Yes, Dish was voted "Best Dressed" in the minor leagues earlier this year, on the basis of her low-cut tops and short skirts. And today, Dish is using her infamous catcher's mitt that looks like a porcupine.
Moldy Fuchs: There's a social media rumor that porcupine quills are the best way to stop the dreaded alien ghost runners... Moldy Fuchs reporting.
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Safe at third base.
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Vincenta Scully: Moldy, you're such a sucker. Do you really think that
aliens who have come hundreds of light-years across interstellar space
to Earth have a fear of porcupines?
Moldy Fuchs {shrugs}: I have a deep faith that the truth about alien fears of porcupine quills is out there. ⊮
Vincenta Scully: You heard it here first folks, from the man who takes nothing on faith. Batting for the Boston Red Gloves is A. Statue, who statistical analysis suggests is the MLB player least likely to swing his bat.
Moldy Fuchs: A sad twist of fate to have A. Statue at the plate just when there is a ghost runner on second. The Red Gloves only need a single to tie the game.
Vincenta Scully: Steele delivers a low called strike at the knees. Can I believe my eyes? Dish... wait now... it seems that something is happening over at third base.
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xx-ray glasses
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Moldy Fuchs: Vinnie, third base umpire, "Foureyes" Closed, has just signaled 'safe' at third base.
Vincenta Scully: I assume that the ghost runner stole third base. Third base umpire Closed was who demanded xx-ray vision contact lenses because she refused to wear glasses. However, look at Dish. A quill on her glove impaled the ball and now she can't get the ball out of her glove. Do we call this a wardrobe malfunction?
Moldy Fuchs: Umpire I. C. Clearly has just thrown a new ball to Steele on the mound.
Vincenta Scully: Steele has stepped off of the mound and is rubbing up the new ball, apparently trying to give Dish more time to get the other ball out of her glove. But the pitch clock is still running.
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| another wardrobe malfunction |
Moldy Fuchs: Something just happened at the plate! Dish was knocked flying and is now sitting dazed on the ground!
Vincenta Scully: The home plate umpire has signaled "safe". The ghost runner must have stolen home and collided with Dish! It is now all tied up, 1 to 1.
Moldy Fuchs: That collision knocked the catcher's mitt off of her hand and the stuck ball out of the mitt and... Golly! There is your wardrobe malfunction, Vinnie. Dish's spectacular breasts were knocked right out of her low-cut top! The ball boy tucks Dish back into her jersey, pulls her to her feet and now Dish gets back behind the dish.
Vincenta Scully: Steele is back on the mound. Red Gloves hitter Alex Statue never even moved during the collision at home plate between the alien ghost runner and Dish. Here comes the next pitch... another low strike. A. Statue has not taken his bat off of his shoulder.
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Boston being invaded by aliens from Andromeda.
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Moldy Fuchs: The Red Gloves need a base runner here, if we are going to finish this game in time for me to catch the early showing of "Deep Throat" over in the Combat Zone.
Vincenta Scully: Moldy, how can you be talking about your pornography addiction on national radio at a time like this? Who wins the division hangs in the balance of this thrilling extra-innings game.
Moldy Fuchs: Vinnie, you know me, I always say: what's a trip into Boston without a visit to the Combat Zone and a chance to see some racy adult films?
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Figure 4. Red Gloves player
A. Statue at the plate. |
Vincenta Scully: Say, Moldy, what do the social media rumors say about the alien ghost runners and what they do on the field after they score a run? Here's the next pitch... and A. Statue takes a ball.
Moldy Fuchs: That inside pitch almost hit Statue and he did not move an inch. Didn't even flinch. Well, Vinnie, my favorite theory about alien ghost runners is that when they are not officially in the game and on base, they are still lurking around the infield, trying to control the outcome of the game.
Vincenta Scully: Steele tosses another ball. The count goes to two and two. Moldy, if you were an invisible alien, where would you be right now?
Moldy Fuchs: Well, Vinnie, I think you know the answer to that question; I'd be down in the Combat Zone, catching a showing of "Deep Throat".
Vincenta Scully: Statue finally took his bat off of his shoulder! He's waving the bat around like he's trying to swat a fly. Here comes the pitch! Statue swings. [A loud 'crack' is heard.] There it goes. A towering fly ball to left field. Over left field! Over the Green Monster! A. Statue hit the ball out of Zenway park! What a way to end the game and clinch the division for the Red Gloves!
Moldy Fuchs: Thank the ghost alien! The Red Gloves win and I can now get over to the Combat Zone.
Vincenta Scully: I think you are right, Moldy. The slow-motion replay seems to show that it was not A. Statue who swung the bat. It must have been the invisible alien.
Moldy Fuchs: Which I take as a good omen for the future of Humanity. Even the aliens don't want New York to win.
___________________
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Alien ghost runners by WOMBO.
Text prompt: "a peculiar encounter
between a baseball player and
mysterious alien entities,
the protagonist is playing
second base during a
night game when strange,
translucent figures appear
on the field, it blends
elements of science fiction,
sports, and the supernatural to
create an unusual and
intriguing scenario on the
baseball diamond"
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I asked
Perplexity to summarize this webpage (above)...
Perplexity: The webpage contains a short science fiction story titled "Alien Ghosts on Second" by an author named J.D. Harlock[1]. The story is set on a baseball field and involves a peculiar encounter between a baseball player and mysterious alien entities[1].
In the narrative, the protagonist is playing second base during a night game when strange, translucent figures appear on the field[1]. These entities are described as alien ghosts, and their presence creates an eerie atmosphere during the game[1].
The story explores the player's reaction to these otherworldly visitors and how their appearance affects the ongoing baseball match[1]. It blends elements of science fiction, sports, and the supernatural to create an unusual and intriguing scenario on the baseball diamond[1].
The webpage presents this short story as a piece of flash fiction, offering readers a quick but imaginative glimpse into a world where the ordinary setting of a baseball game intersects with extraterrestrial phenomena[1].
Citations:
[1] https://wikifiction.blogspot.com/2024/07/alien-ghosts-on-second.html
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Text prompt: "a fictional or speculative
concept involving multiple
interconnected realities or timelines,
multiple alternate realities or timelines,
possibly related to science fiction concepts"
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I wonder why Perplexity so confidently associated "
J.D. Harlock" with this blog page. I created the blog post "Alien Ghosts on Second" in an attempt to have some fun, but my humor apparently went right over the head of Perplexity, not even being mentioned in the AI-generated summary of "Doomed Skankies!". I was invited by Perplexity to ask a follow-up question, so I asked: "
What is the Ekcolir Reality?"
Perplexity: Based on the search results provided, there is limited information available about the specific concept of "Ekcolir Reality". However, we can extract some context from the glossary entry in result [3]:
The Ekcolir Reality is mentioned as part of a "Reality Chain" that includes other realities like the Foundation Reality and Asimov Reality. Specifically, it states:
"Asimov Reality - in Earth's Reality Chain, the Asimov Reality is between the preceding Foundation Reality and the Ekcolir Reality."
This
suggests that the Ekcolir Reality is part of a fictional or speculative
concept involving multiple interconnected realities or timelines. It
appears to be positioned after the Asimov Reality in this chain of
realities.
Without more context, it's difficult to provide additional details about what the Ekcolir Reality specifically entails or its characteristics. The term seems to be part of a larger fictional framework or universe that involves multiple alternate realities or timelines, possibly related to science fiction concepts. However, the exact nature and significance of the Ekcolir Reality within this framework remain unclear from the limited information available in the search results.
Citations:
[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reality [2] https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/reality [3] http://asearchbeyond.blogspot.com/p/glossary.html [4] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/virtual%20reality [5] https://www.dictionary.com/browse/reality I'm glad that Perplexity found my other blog (citation [3], above) and its glossary of terms. I suppose the good people at Perplexity are paid to provide link$ to online dictionarie$ whenever po$$ible.
Sadly, Perplexity was unable to recognize any relationship between Vincenta Scully (in the imaginary radio broadcast, above on this page) and Dana Scully of The X-files.
Next: Part 2 of "The Fesarians".
