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| Van and Jen. Image by WOMBO Dream. |
This is Grok's assessment of the changes that I made to Chapter 5: "The revisions to Chapter 5 of "Downgrade" subtly shift the narrative tone from a somewhat isolated, atmospheric suspense to a more grounded, historically contextualized intrigue, enhancing realism while maintaining the sci-fi mystery rooted in the Exodemic universe's nanotech and time-travel mechanics.
The change in building description—from a converted 19th-century mill (evoking quaint, shadowy isolation) to a modern Wang Laboratories structure—modernizes the setting, infusing a corporate, tech-boom vibe that ties into 1980s AI history. This makes the tone feel less gothic and more pragmatic, aligning with pek conservatism by portraying human tech development as organically evolving amid real-world failures like Wang's decline.
Shorter timelines (chip discoveries from a week to days; employment from six months to weeks) heighten urgency and tension, transforming the twins' unease into immediate paranoia, reminiscent of bumpha interventions via hidden endosymbionts influencing behavior subtly.
Added personal touches—like Jennem's hot chocolate for warmth, ancient trees linking to Salem witch trials, and Exel's vacation chat—soften the clinical tone, adding warmth and maternal depth to Exel, possibly hinting at her as a femtozoan-guided figure. This humanizes the narrative, balancing hard SF with emotional stakes.
Overall, the tone evolves from detached mystery to intimate, historically anchored suspense, better grounding plot in fictional physics like hierion bonds enabling covert tech 'seeds'." A Grok-generated list of the major changes that I made to Chapter 5 is at the bottom of this blog page.
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Downgrade - Chapter 5: Hidden Seeds (Chapters 1-3)(Chapter 4)
Andover, Massachusetts
February 14, 1986
The Agisynth Research Facility occupied a new building on the south side of Lowell Street close to the Shawsheen River. Originally constructed by Wang Laboratories, the glass and steel structure was three stories of climate control systems, raised floors for cable routing, and enough electrical capacity to power a small town. The empty facility became available when Wang Laboratories, Inc. could not compete with the cheap personal computers that were flooding business offices across the country. Dr. Michael Chen had chosen the location for its easy access to the many computer component manufacturing facilities that had grown up around Boston. The facility was surrounded by quiet residential streets where the locals often wondered about the unmarked delivery trucks that arrived, not realizing that they were carrying equipment with Department of Defense shipping labels.
Jennem Bergman stood in the main server room, her breath forming small clouds in the chilled air. The room was kept at fifty-eight degrees Fahrenheit to protect the hardware: racks of Symbolics 3600 machines networked together, custom parallel processing units built by DARPA contractors, and in the center of it all, Neurovac's core processing system—a configuration of experimental hardware that looked more like a sculpture than a computer.
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Jennem adjusted her wire-rimmed glasses and peered at the memory module she'd just removed from Neurovac's primary knowledge base array. "I see it. Fourth processing core, subsystem seven. There's definitely something non-standard here."
The module was a custom ROM chip, about the size of a deck of cards, its surface etched with the kind of circuits that Jennem had spent the last three days trying to understand. ROM—Read-Only Memory—was supposed to contain basic system instructions, the fundamental operating code that couldn't be modified during normal operation. But this ROM contained something else entirely.
"Can you read the label?" Vanesy asked.
“The same.” Jennem squinted at the tiny engraved text on the chip's housing. "NV-KB-SEED-07. Date stamp... December 1985. Manufactured by..." She paused, feeling a chill that had nothing to do with the room temperature. "No manufacturer listed. Just like the others... Dr. Chen's signature authorization code."
She'd found six similar chips over the past few days, each one integrated deep within Neurovac's architecture, each one bearing Chen's authorization but no other documentation. Their existence wasn't mentioned in any of the system specifications. They appeared on none of the hardware manifests. And when she'd asked Chen about them during their last team meeting, he'd deflected the question with a vague comment about "optimization modules" and changed the subject.
Jennem carefully replaced the module and locked the access panel. "I'm coming up. We need to talk about this."
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"Let me summarize what we know," Vanesy said, studying Jennem's diagrams. "These ROM chips contain pre-loaded semantic vectors. Knowledge structures that bias Neurovac's probability assessments toward specific conclusions."
Jennem was sipping hot chocolate and trying to get the lingering chill from the server room out of her body. "Not just any conclusions," Jennem corrected. "Specific conclusions about future events. The diagnostic queries that I ran last night show that the QA system produces results even when the processor array is physically isolated from the historical data servers. Neurovac gave the probability of various geopolitical scenarios extending through the next ten years, even with no data available for it to process. Jan, Neurovac knows things. Things it does not derive from its training data."
She pulled out a printout covered in probability distributions and confidence intervals. "Here is the key result. I asked Neurovac about the likelihood of major political changes in the Soviet Union between now and 1991. Neurovac instantly returned the result that the Soviet system will experience 'catastrophic structural dissolution' by December 1991. Not gradual reform, not peaceful transition—catastrophic dissolution. Those are the specific mechanism descriptions that were generated by our old QA system at Umass and the result corresponds to what Dr. Chen has already told Harold Voss about our predictions. This is the core result that got the military so interested and got funding for Agisynth."
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"It's worse than that," Jennem said quietly. "The semantic seed vectors aren't just about the Soviet Union. I found prediction structures about technology development timelines, about specific scientific breakthroughs, about economic patterns. Van, there's a seed vector stating that 'neural network architectures based on backpropagation will become dominant in AI research by 1995.' We barely understand backpropagation ourselves—it's experimental. How would Dr. Chen know it becomes dominant?"
The twins sat in silence, each watching the look of puzzlement that hung on the other's face. Over the past few weeks, since defending their dissertations and officially joining Agisynth as researchers, they'd studied Dr. Chen's work with increasing unease. His insights remained preternaturally accurate. His architectural decisions for Neurovac bypassed years of normal development work. His ability to "just know" the right answer had accelerated from impressive to impossible.
And now they had evidence that he was cheating—embedding pre-loaded knowledge into the system, making Neurovac's "predictions" a fraud. And when asked about the first of the mysterious ROM chips that Jen had found two days ago, he'd lied about what the chip was for.
"We have to tell someone," Vanesy said finally.
"Tell who? Voss? He only cares if the predictions are accurate, not how we generate them. The rest of the team? They worship Chen—you've seen how they follow his directions without question."
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Jennem nodded slowly. Exel Rehbeyn had joined Agisynth three months ago as a venture capital investor and business development consultant, ostensibly to help the company secure additional private funding beyond the DIA contracts. But Exel's role had expanded—she attended technical meetings, asked penetrating questions about methodology, and had taken an almost maternal interest in the Bergman twins' wellbeing.
"Exel would know what to do," Jennem agreed. "She understands both the business side and the security implications. And she's..." Jennem struggled to articulate the intuition. "She's safe, somehow. Like she actually cares about us, not just results."
"Okay," Vanesy said. "We talk to Exel."
Exel Rehbeyn's office occupied a corner of the second floor with windows overlooking both the river and the parking lot—a positioning that Vanesy had once joked gave Exel "surveillance on all approaches." The joke had been more perceptive than Vanesy realized.
The office itself was immaculate in a way that went beyond mere tidiness. The books on the shelves were arranged by height, creating perfect diagonal lines. The pens on the desk were parallel to each other and perpendicular to the edge of the desk pad. Three framed certificates on the wall formed an exact equilateral triangle. Even the potted plant by the window sat in a pot that was precisely centered on its saucer, which was precisely centered on the window ledge.
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"Vanesy, Jennem!" Exel's face lit with genuine warmth. "Please, sit. I was just about to make tea—can I offer you some?"
"That would be wonderful," Vanesy said, taking one of the chairs facing Exel's desk. Jennem took the other, watching as Exel moved to a small credenza where an electric kettle sat alongside a precise row of tea tins.
As Exel prepared the tea and chatted about winter snow storms and visits to Vermont ski resorts, suggesting a vacation for Van and Jen and offering access to a time-share cabin in the mountains. Vanesy noticed the way Exel's hands automatically straightened the tea tins between selections, ensuring they remained in perfect alignment. The way she positioned the teacups on their saucers with geometric precision. Small, unconscious movements that spoke of a deep need for order.
"So," Exel said, bringing the tea over and settling into her chair with the fluid grace of a dancer. "You both look troubled. What's on your minds?"
The twins exchanged a glance. Jennem set her tea down at the edge of the desk pad—and opening the folder of documentation she'd brought. "We've discovered something about Neurovac's architecture," Jennem began. "Something that Dr. Chen installed without documenting or discussing with the team."
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When Jennem finished, Exel was quiet for a long moment. She reached out and adjusted Jennem's teacup, rotating it perhaps thirty degrees so its handle was exactly perpendicular to the edge of the desk. The gesture seemed entirely unconscious.
"This is serious," Exel said finally. "Very serious. Dr. Chen is representing Neurovac's outputs as computational predictions when they're actually pre-determined conclusions. That's not just scientific fraud—given our Defense Department funding and the classified nature of our work, it could be considered a national security issue."
"We don't want to get Dr. Chen in trouble," Vanesy said quickly. "He's brilliant, and everything he's accomplished—"
"Is compromised by this deception," Exel finished gently. "I know you care about him. You've worked with him for years, and he's been a wonderful mentor. But Vanesy, Jennem—there are larger concerns here. If Dr. Chen is hiding information from the team, if he's manipulating Neurovac's outputs in ways we don't understand, we need to know why. And we need to know what else he might be hiding."
She stood and moved to the window, looking out at the winter afternoon. "You did exactly the right thing coming to me. This needs to be handled carefully. Dr. Chen is the principal investigator, so responsibility ultimately rests with him, not with you."
"What will happen to him?" Jennem asked.
"That depends on what else we discover," Exel said. "Best case, this is just... overeagerness. Dr. Chen believes so strongly in his vision of AGI that he's cutting corners, creating the illusion of success to maintain funding and momentum."
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Exel turned from the window, her expression grave. "Worst case, Dr. Chen is receiving information from sources he hasn't disclosed. Foreign intelligence, industrial espionage, things I'd rather not speculate about. In that scenario, the security implications would be severe."
A knock sounded at the door—sharp, confident, unexpected.
"I'm sorry," Exel called. "I'm in a private meeting—"
The door opened anyway.
The woman who entered was striking in a way that defied easy description. She appeared to be in her thirties, with dark hair that seemed to shimmer with colors that weren't quite there, and eyes that were simultaneously warm and ancient. She wore a charcoal business suit that looked expensive but somehow wrong, as if the designer had been working from a description of business attire rather than actual examples.
"Hello, Exel," the woman said, her voice carrying an accent that belonged to no particular region. "I know I'm interrupting.” She told Van and Jen, “I'm an old friend of Michael's— visiting."
Exel's entire demeanor changed. All of her usual warmth vanished, replaced by a stillness that was almost predatory. "I don't believe we've met... you are?"
"Setra Venn," the woman said, extending her hand. Exel didn't take it. "And you must be Vanesy and Jennem. Michael speaks so highly of you both."
Vanesy felt her internal warning systems activate. Something about this "Setra Venn" was off—the way she moved, the way she looked at them, the sudden tension that had filled the room like static electricity before a storm.
"Ms. Venn," Exel said, her voice precisely controlled, "this is a secure facility. All visitors need to check in at the front desk."
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"Misled?" Jennem said. "What are you talking about?"
Setra looked directly at Exel, and Vanesy could swear something passed between them—not words, not gestures, but something deeper and more primal, like two predators recognizing each other across contested territory.
"I'm talking about people who pretend to be allies while actually working against your interests," Setra said. "People who smile and offer tea while gathering information for their own purposes. Tell me, have you girls ever wondered why Exel Rehbeyn takes such a personal interest in your wellbeing? Why someone with her connections—venture capital, Pentagon liaisons, access to classified briefings—spends so much time with two newly-minted Ph.D.s?"
"That's quite enough," Exel said sharply. "Ms. Venn, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"I'm going nowhere," Setra replied, her voice hardening. "These young women came to you with concerns about Dr. Chen. What were you planning to tell your supervisor, Exel? That Chen is compromised? That he needs to be... investigated? Removed? Perhaps sent somewhere he can be studied more carefully?"
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Setra turned to face both twins, and for a moment her expression softened into something almost like sympathy. "I'm someone who wants to see Michael Chen succeed. Exel is someone who wants to control what he succeeds at. And you two are caught in the middle of a very old argument about how to help humanity achieve its potential."
"That's a grotesque oversimplification," Exel said.
"Is it? You've been monitoring Dr. Chen for months, waiting for him to make a mistake. Looking for evidence that he's receiving outside help so you can justify removing him from the project."
"I've been ensuring compliance with security protocols—"
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The room had become suffocatingly tense. Vanesy looked between Exel and Setra, feeling like she was watching a conversation in a language she didn't speak, full of subtext and implications she couldn't parse.
"Vanesy, Jennem," Exel said, her voice carefully gentle. "I think it would be best if you stepped outside for a moment. Ms. Venn and I need to have a private discussion."
"Don't trust her," Setra said flatly. "Exel doesn't care about your futures or Dr. Chen's success. She cares about maintaining control, about preventing progress that happens too quickly or in ways she can't predict."
"And you care about progress regardless of the consequences?" Exel shot back. "Regardless of who gets hurt? Regardless of the rules that exist for very good reasons?"
"The rules that say humanity must stumble forward in ignorance when they could be running?"
"The rules that say humans must develop their own technologies, make their own discoveries, achieve their own breakthroughs without interference!"
Vanesy stood abruptly. "Okay, this is insane. I don't know what's happening here, but Jennem and I are leaving. Come on, Jan."
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"If you have questions about what Dr. Chen is doing, talk to Dr. Chen. Don't go behind his back to people who are playing games you don't understand. That's my advice. Take it or leave it."
The twins practically fled into the hallway, the door closing behind them with a decisive click.
They stood in the corridor, breathing heavily, staring at each other.
"What," Jennem said slowly, "the hell was that cat fight?"
"I have no idea," Vanesy replied. "But did you notice—"
"The way they talked about 'humanity' like they weren't part of it? Yes. I noticed."
"And the thing about 'interference' and 'self-determination'—"
"Like it was some kind of policy they were debating. Not about Agisynth. About... everything."
The twins started walking back toward their shared office, their footsteps echoing in the corridor.
"Exel Rehbeyn," Jennem muttered. "Setra Venn. Who comes up with these wacky names?"
"People who aren't great at coming up with cover identities?" Vanesy suggested. "Jan, know something really weird is happening here. Something that goes beyond Dr. Chen having impossible intuitions and pre-loading Neurovac with future knowledge."
"You think they're... what? Spies? Foreign intelligence?"
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They reached their office—a shared space with two desks, two terminals, and whiteboards covered in semantic network diagrams. Jennem locked the door behind them.
"So what's our move?" she asked.
Vanesy moved to the window, looking out at the Agisynth parking lot. She could see Exel's office from this angle, the corner windows glowing in the afternoon light. Whatever was happening in that room, she didn't think it was a normal business discussion.
"We do what Setra suggested," Vanesy said. "We talk to Dr. Chen directly. But we don't tell him about going to Exel first. We just... ask questions. See what he says. And we watch. We watch Dr. Chen, we watch Exel, we watch for anyone else like Setra Venn who shows up with weird names and weirder agendas."
"You want us to become amateur detectives."
"I want us to figure out what the hell is really going on in this company," Vanesy said. "Because Jennem, I don't think we're just building an AI system. I think we're caught in the middle of something much bigger."
Jennem nodded slowly. "Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Impossible Computer?"
"Something like that. Except the Nancy Drew I read as a kid never had to deal with arguments about 'humanity's self-determination' or people named Setra Venn."
They stood together at the window, watching the winter afternoon fade into evening, knowing that their simple investigation into some anomalous hardware had just become much more complicated.
Meanwhile, in Exel's office, the gloves came off.
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"You have a lot of nerve," Exel said, her voice cold, "walking into this facility."
Setra, the human-shaped form being used by Manny the bumpha, smiled. Her own disguise remained in place, but her posture shifted into something more relaxed, more authentically herself. "I have nerves of reinforced sedronic matter, actually. Very difficult to damage."
"This isn't a joke.” Exel was not sure if this was Manny or some other bumpha agent. “You're in direct violation of the Rules of Intervention. Chen is being guided by one of your femtozoan agents—I know it, Nyrtia knows it, and we're close to proving it definitively."
"Prove away," Manny said. "You know that Dr. Michael Chen is doing nothing but deploying human-derived computing methods in an optimally efficient manner. Every insight he has can be traced back to legitimate research. Every architectural decision for Neurovac has precedent in human cognitive science. Where's your evidence of alien technology transfer?"
"The semantic seed vectors in those ROM chips—"
"Are brilliant applications of vector space mathematics that humans already understand. Chen is just ahead of the curve. Isn't that what you want? Humans developing their own technologies?"
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"From his own brilliant extrapolation," Manny corrected. "You pek are so conservative. You see a human achieving something remarkable and immediately assume it must be alien interference. Have you considered that humans are actually capable of genius without your permission?"
"I've considered that humans develop at their own pace, which is the entire point of the Rules of Intervention. You're accelerating Chen's research, pushing him toward AGI decades ahead of the natural timeline. And you know why that's dangerous."
Manny stood, moving to the window where Exel had stood earlier. Outside, darkness was falling, lights beginning to glow in the parking lot and surrounding buildings. "I know that you think it's dangerous. I think humans are ready for AGI. More than ready—they need it. The problems they're facing in the late twentieth century require computational capabilities beyond human cognition. Climate modeling, economic optimization, nuclear deterrence calculations—these aren't problems humans can solve with slide rules and FORTRAN code."
"And if Chen's AGI goes wrong? If it develops in ways we can't predict or control? If it triggers exactly the kind of technological crisis the Rules are designed to prevent?"
"Then we deal with it," Manny said simply. "But I don't think it will go wrong. Chen is building something beautiful—a true machine intelligence that will help humanity navigate its challenges while respecting human autonomy. Isn't that what you want?"
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Manny turned from the window, her expression hardening. "And how's that working out? The AI winter is coming—I've seen it in the time stream. By 1990, funding for AI research will dry up. The field will stagnate for decades. Brilliant researchers will give up, students will switch to other domains, and humanity will lose years of progress. Unless someone prevents it. Unless someone like Chen succeeds so spectacularly that the AI winter never deepens."
"That's not your decision to make."
"It's not yours to prevent."
They stared at each other across the office, two ancient artificial intelligences disguised as human women, each representing philosophical positions millions of years old.
"Nyrtia is watching," Exel said finally. "Every move Chen makes, every breakthrough, every anomaly. The Observation System has flagged him as Priority One. One slip—one piece of undeniable evidence that he's using alien technology—and Nyrtia will invoke Rule Two. Chen will be taken to Observer Base, reprogrammed, and returned to Earth with no memory of Neurovac or AGI or any of this. And your entire Intervention will be erased."
"If you can prove Intervention," Manny said. "Which you can't. Because Chen isn't deploying alien technology. He's deploying human technology, just optimally." Manny knew that the femtozoan integrated with Chen's neural structure didn't give him alien knowledge—it gave him access to his own future memories. To the insights he would have had anyway, just accelerated. "Call it temporal optimization."
"That's sophistry."
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Exel's hands were rearranging the items on her desk again, a subtle displacement activity for the rage building in her femtobot matrix. "One slip, Manny. That's all it will take. And those two brilliant young women you just met? They're already suspicious. They're already investigating. And they're exactly the kind of sharp, determined humans who will figure out what's really happening here. What happens when they discover the truth? When they realize their mentor is being manipulated by alien intelligences from the future?"
"They'll understand that they're part of something important," Manny said. "They'll understand that humanity is on the cusp of a transformation, and they're helping guide it. Those twins are special, Exel. They're not going to run scared. They're going to run toward the mystery."
"Then I'll make sure they run in the right direction," Exel said. "Away from your influence. Away from Chen's compromised research. Toward legitimate AI development that doesn't depend on cheating."
Manny moved toward the door, her hand on the handle. "You do that. But remember—I'm playing the long game. I've been guiding humanity for millions of years, and I'm very good at it. You and Nyrtia can watch, and monitor, and prepare your contingencies. But Chen is going to build his AGI. Nanoovac is going to achieve consciousness. And the AI winter is going to be prevented. That's already written in the Sedron Time Stream."
"The future isn't fixed," Exel said. "You taught me that yourself, millions of years ago."
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She opened the door, then paused. "Oh, and Exel? Tell Nyrtia I said hello. And tell her I'm not afraid of her threats. Chen stays on Earth. Neurovac gets built. And humanity takes its next evolutionary step. With or without pek approval."
Then she was gone, walking down the corridor and dissolving back into the Sedron Domain before she reached the exit, leaving no trace of her visit except a faint distortion in the hierion field that Exel could detect but not track.
Exel stood alone in her office, looking at the perfectly arranged desk, the precisely aligned picture frames, the geometric order she imposed on her environment because controlling physical space was the only control she really had.
She would have to report this encounter to Nyrtia. The Overseer would want to know that Manny had made direct contact, had confronted an Observer agent in person. It was a bold move, almost reckless.
Which meant Manny was very confident in her position. Or very desperate.
Exel reached for the phone, then paused. First, she needed to check on the twins. Make sure they weren't about to do anything that would accelerate the crisis. Make sure they understood that coming to her had been the right choice.
Make sure they didn't trust Setra Venn.
She picked up the phone and dialed the extension for the twins' office.
The game continued, with everyone playing their role, moving toward a future that might already be written—or might still be changed.
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[End of Chapter 5]
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Below is the Grok-generated list of changes that I made to Claude's original draft of Chapter 5.
- Building Description and History: In the first draft, the Agisynth facility is described as a converted 19th-century red brick textile mill on the Shawsheen River, chosen for its isolation. In the revised version, it is a new glass and steel building on Lowell Street, originally built by Wang Laboratories and acquired due to market changes, chosen for access to Boston-area manufacturing.
- Communication Method: The first draft uses a walkie-talkie for Vanesy to communicate with Jennem during the inspection. The revised version changes this to an intercom.
- Hardware Module Location: The anomalous ROM chip is located in the "fourth memory bank, subsystem seven" in the first draft. This is updated to "fourth processing core, subsystem seven" in the revised version.
- Timeline of Chip Discoveries: The first draft states Jennem found six similar chips over the past week. The revised version shortens this to the past few days and adds that this chip is "the same" as the others, emphasizing prior discoveries.
Conference Room Description: The first draft describes the room overlooking the river with ice on the banks. The revised version places the river in the distance, marked by leafless gray trees, and adds a historical note about some trees dating back to the Salem witch trials.
Image by WOMBO Dream.
- Jennem's Personal Detail: No mention in the first draft, but the revised version adds Jennem sipping hot chocolate to warm up after being in the cold server room.
- Diagnostic Query Details: In the first draft, queries cover the next five years with a 94% confidence in Soviet dissolution by 1991. The revised version extends this to ten years, notes instant results even when isolated from data servers, and ties it directly to prior UMass QA system results that secured funding.
- Seed Vector Phrasing: The first draft describes a seed vector "suggesting" neural networks based on backpropagation become dominant by 1995. The revised version strengthens this to "stating that" they will become dominant.
Time Since Joining Agisynth: The twins have been at Agisynth for six months in the first draft (since defending dissertations). This is reduced to a few weeks in the revised version.
Image by WOMBO Dream.
- Dr. Chen's Response to Questions: The first draft notes Chen deflected questions about the chips. The revised version explicitly states he lied about their purpose when asked two days ago.
- Exel's Interaction Expansion: The first draft has Exel offering tea without additional chat. The revised version adds her chatting about winter storms, suggesting a Vermont ski vacation, and offering a time-share cabin, enhancing her maternal characterization.
- Jennem's Action with Tea and Folder: In the first draft, Jennem sets her tea down carefully, aligning it, before pulling out the folder. The revised version has her set the tea at the edge of the desk pad while opening the folder, with minor rephrasing for flow.
- Exel's Gesture with Teacup: Both versions have Exel adjusting the teacup unconsciously, but the revised version integrates it after a longer pause, emphasizing her need for order in a slightly extended scene.
Below are two Grok-generated videos. The first video was the default version.
Be sure to listen to the audio of the second video, above. Grok's default behavior (in the first video) was to pretend that there was another person in the room (not seen, but spoken to).
Next: Claude's first draft of Chapter 6 of "Downgrade".
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